Whiteboard Video - 3 Ways Porn Rewires the Brain

Hi All!  I recently did a rad video project with Axis where I got to share with a student and parent audience about the 3 ways porn rewires the brain.  EVERY STUDENT, EVERY TEEN needs to watch this video.   CLICK HERE

Questions for Your Next Date-night

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Source: NY Times 

A Cool Way to Help Kids Understand Addiction

This deceptively cute video (5min) illustrates how addiction works.  If you are a parent, teacher, counselor or spiritual leader take a moment to watch the video and think about the kids it would work for.  I think it can act as a powerful teaching tool for kids 4 to 10 yrs old.  

I would recommend if you show it to the kids in your life that you use an inductive approach.  Ask them open-ended questions like: "what happened when the bird first tried the nugget?  what about the 2nd and 3rd time? what happened at the end?"  

Then, once the kids describe it all, ask them how it made them feel?  Then, you can talk about how there are things in the world that can bring great "darkness" into their lives.  In age appropriate ways I would list what those things could be.  "A nugget could be an image on the internet, something you drink, something you smoke..."  

So, when do you think you will show this to your kids?  Set a time now while you are thinking about it.  It could make a huge difference.

A Powerful TEDTalk - Especially for Teens

This is a powerful video that dissects the dysfunctional aspects of pornography.  And, how porn creates emotionally unsafe sex in the viewer.  

The message also brings to light the inhumanity that a viewer of porn subjects themselves to as well as the person(s) they are watching.  Definitely an authentic message coming from someone who has served the sex worker population.  

WARNING: Graphic descriptions (NSFW)

WHY I STOPPED WATCHING PORN

Ran Gavrieli lives in Tel Aviv and studies gender at Tel Aviv University. He works with youth and adults all over the country in sex and gender studies and in building positive self image in a world inundated by sexual imagery with negative connotations. 

Ran writes and lectures about emotional and physical safe sex; porn and porn-influenced cultural damages; gender and power relations; and sex and intimacy.

Are there people who would be helped by this video/article?  Feel free to share it.

The Definition of Resilience

NEVER. GIVE. UP.  

That's what I learned from the biographical Unbroken.    It's the story about Louis Zamperrini a hellion of a child and a menace to society through his early adolescence.  It's the story of an unforeseen Olympian who overcame all odds of survival in WW II and even the fallout of incredible trauma and addiction.  

INSPIRATION

If you are in need of inspiration in your life right now read this book.  It is the most inspirational book I have ever read.  Not kidding.  

THAT'S REAL

If there weren't eye witnesses it would be deemed fiction.  For, it is too amazing to be considered real.  It is utterly fantastical.  

THAT'S ACCESSIBLE

Yet, for as unbelievable as the events are one does not shrug and say "I could never do that."  There is not a distancing that can usually occur with heroes who seem so other-worldly.  There is something about Zamperini that is accessible.  When reading about his life you hear an invitation and a desire to be like him.  You WANT to be like this guy.  You want to honor his life.  You want to never give up.

A PARABLE FOR RECOVERY

This is the perfect book for those in recovery.  

What most sex addicts and addicts in general suffer from is hopelessness:

"It will never get better."

"Things will never change."

"I'll always be stuck in my addiction."

"I'll always be this way."

Addicts feel the odds are stacked against them and that there is no use in trying.  After being beaten down numerous times by the disease the invitation to despair is alluring.    

Never Give Up.  It sounds cliché.   But, it will feel far from cliché after reading Unbroken.  Louis' life will give new meaning to those words.  

Enjoy.